Time for myself
It seems like I have had any blog entry for a long time. I always like to believe and also tell myself that I am not the type that likes to write my thoughts. However maybe sometimes you need to do things you dun like for the sake of others.... Hmmm didnt Jesus mentioned that to Peter as well, that when he grows old the Holy Spirit will guide him to go where he doesnt wanna go. That means that will be times that you will think for others and not live juz for yourself.
Anyway it seemed to me like a long time since I had time for myself. I do have time alone but not time for myself. A paradox? I guess its the same when they say you can spend time physically with somebody but yet there is no intimate fellowship involved. Since I started working, I come home feeling tired... Even my prayers are always in a rush. The emerge conference has gotten me to rethink my life and somehow God has brought to my attention something v impt - my vision and direction for my life.
There has been a growing dissatisfaction in my life nowadays that always leads me to think abt career and what is God's plan for my life. God has given everyone talents right? Something that you can do naturally and excel. Something you are passionate abt and enjoy doing. Something you will do even for free. It frustrates me that I dunno what my gift is.
Sometimes i juz feel I dunno wat to do with my life, and yet at the same time I feel I can trust God and seek Him to uncover the purpose that He has. Isnt Christianity strange? Sometimes we feel depressed and frustrated and yet at the same moment you feel God's presence gently nudging and encouraging you. Thats exactly how I feel now. I started writing this entry feeling rather confused and discouraged but now somehow I feel the Holy Spirit gently touching my heart.
Anyway even if I am not sure my purpose or gifting there are a few things I know I am passionate about! Transformers, Liverpool, tennis, security ministry and Jesus of course ! If i have time I will blog more abt these things in my life and by doing so I hope people can get to know me better!
Anyway it seemed to me like a long time since I had time for myself. I do have time alone but not time for myself. A paradox? I guess its the same when they say you can spend time physically with somebody but yet there is no intimate fellowship involved. Since I started working, I come home feeling tired... Even my prayers are always in a rush. The emerge conference has gotten me to rethink my life and somehow God has brought to my attention something v impt - my vision and direction for my life.
There has been a growing dissatisfaction in my life nowadays that always leads me to think abt career and what is God's plan for my life. God has given everyone talents right? Something that you can do naturally and excel. Something you are passionate abt and enjoy doing. Something you will do even for free. It frustrates me that I dunno what my gift is.
Sometimes i juz feel I dunno wat to do with my life, and yet at the same time I feel I can trust God and seek Him to uncover the purpose that He has. Isnt Christianity strange? Sometimes we feel depressed and frustrated and yet at the same moment you feel God's presence gently nudging and encouraging you. Thats exactly how I feel now. I started writing this entry feeling rather confused and discouraged but now somehow I feel the Holy Spirit gently touching my heart.
Anyway even if I am not sure my purpose or gifting there are a few things I know I am passionate about! Transformers, Liverpool, tennis, security ministry and Jesus of course ! If i have time I will blog more abt these things in my life and by doing so I hope people can get to know me better!
posted by Ah Hao at 11:10 PM
2 Comments:
Dear, it's such a touching post. I read it and felt so much. And understand how you feel too... you write beautifully. Very heartfelt and truthful... :) And I am absolutely sure many people will get to know you better through your blog!
Hi Bro, been a long while since you last blogged :)
Can understand how you feel, it's a question I've been asking God for time to time ever since I started working. I feel a bit fuzzy abt my long term destiny and goal too. Maybe my job's going to remain part time and not a destiny for my whole life =p But I do feel His prompting on the shorter term ones when I ask Him :) It's something we have to keep asking and trusting and seeking. Well, guess that makes life exciting :D
For the short term, really nearing ur trip to meet Xiangcen! ^_^
So ureshii! Remember to take more photos together and bring back to show us ah :D
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